Lost in Our 20s | Welcome
Author: Dalton James
June 1st, 2024
“Every day is a winding road.” - Sheryl Crow
Today is my 23rd birthday. Hooray! Well… I have no idea what I am doing. I am writing this blog, yet I still have no idea what I am doing! I’ve heard that it’s pretty common to feel lost and experience worry of failure at this stage of life, specifically in more recent generations. I’d like to believe that everything is going to be alright. Maybe not great, not necessarily horrible, but alright seems reliable.
I have to admit, supporting myself at the tender age of 23 can feel like an episode of Survivor on most days. I remind myself to be grateful for all that I have, as I’ve been told counting your blessings helps. A previous therapist of mine shared a great piece of wisdom that I still recall to this day. “Nobody knows what they are doing. We are all just living day to day,” If that doesn’t adequately sum up the human experience, then I have no idea what does.
I bet that most of us, especially those of us in our young adulthood, aiming to figure out what life means for us, experience a vast fear of the unknown almost daily. Perhaps we feel as though we’re doing something wrong - or more so that we aren’t doing something right. The one mantra I repeat to myself on a regular (not daily, admittedly) basis, is to take it day by day. Yes, it is an absolute cliche, and we hear it everywhere. However, I do believe that considering the future in our present moment is a huge commitment for us. We have no idea what the next seconds hold, and to devote ourselves to the pressure of tomorrow, next month, or the next six months is almost like self-sabotage. For me personally, living in the future has made me highly anxious.
I grew up a very goal-oriented child. I was a competitive dancer, so pushing myself to my highest potential was a natural mindset for me. I would aim to jump higher, turn faster, and stretch farther. I think that at the age of 23, this is the first time in my life that I am having trouble identifying goals - short and long-term. I’d appreciate a house of my own one day, maybe a fulfilling career, perhaps even a family… however, the road ahead feels blurry. I feel misplaced right now, so how do I know if I’m on the right path? What should I be doing right now to achieve these potential goals? Will I even want these things come the next few years of my life?
I find myself caught up in exciting opportunities I may want to, or feel internal pressure to, indulge in. “Should I go back to school? What would I go for? The Pacific Northwest sounds cool. Maybe I should return to teaching dance, I love kids! Perhaps I could become an influencer?” It goes on and on nearly every day.
Right now I am working on focusing on things I am sure of. I identify with hobbies I’ve picked up such as reading, stretching, and exercising daily, and Soul Canvas. And as of late, since I’ve found myself in sync with these said hobbies, I’ve been able to identify mini-goals that will benefit my future, no matter where I end up. Reading daily is improving my literacy, comprehension, and writing skills. I stretch (almost) daily in the event I may want to return to dance one day. My blog may improve my ability to self-identify, my emotional intelligence, and my potential to connect with others. My point is - taking care of myself and establishing meaning in my life has helped me to cope with this anxious uncertainty that is in my early 20s. I may not have control over the future, but I surely can control myself in the present. Regardless of how I spend it, time is going to pass; I’m choosing to build upon my skill set while taking care of myself to benefit my future.
I don't believe it's about figuring your life out because it's uncomfortable, but more so finding valuable ways to cope with the uncertainty of it all. Realistically, a fair few days are better than others. Some days I feel like a complete failure who isn’t going to get anywhere. On other days, I feel satisfied with the stillness of my life and enjoy the journey of self-discovery. I remind myself to reflect upon my accomplishments and identify with my goals and interests. After all, our 20s are meant to be the start of something great - why don’t we take our time figuring out what that looks like?
